Help Desk

"You work in IT?"
"Yes."
"Can you fix my...?"
"No."


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Meeting Inception

"Another meeting?"
"Yeah."
"How many is that already?"
"Five."
"Damn."


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For Amanda

"Tests are back."
"What's the word?"
"You're completely cancer free."


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Shame

"I have a crush on you."
"... thank you?"
"Sorry. Bye."


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Proximity Alert

Her hand grazed his thigh.
"I'm sorry!"
"Are you?"
"No."


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How about no?

"Lunch plans?"
"No."
"Care to join me?"
"No."
"Tomorrow?"
"No."


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Mid-year Devaluation

"It's not all that bad."
"That's good."
"No. Not really."


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Date Due

"It's not you. It's..."
"I'm pregnant."
"What???"
"It's not yours."


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Somnambulance

"No daddy! Don't hit me!"
"Dude! Wake up!"
"Huh? What?"


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Cooperationale

"There's no I in team!"
"There's also no U. Bye!"


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All for one

"I won the lottery!!!"
"Heck yeah!!!"
"Here's your dollar back."


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Mi scappa

"Mommy! I gotta pee... BAD!!!"
"No you don't. Shut up!"


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Run!

The streetlights shook violently. The cars too.
Antonio surmised, "Earthquake?"


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Consider the ant

"Sad, isn't it?"
"What's that?"
"How you just sit there..."


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Perspective

"Got any change?"
"Get a job!!!"
"Would you hire me?"


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Taco Hell

"Did you hear that???"
"Hear what?"
"Nothing..."
"What's that smell???!"


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Currant Sea

"Keep the change."
"Sir... too much!"
"Not where I'm going."

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Time bandit

"Do you have a minute?"
"Sure. Why?"
"Nothing. Just checking."


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Stand Up

"Sir, more wine?"
"No thanks. Looks like she's not coming."


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Miss Taken

"Where's my daughter???"
"She wasn't on the bus this morning."


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Which Eric?

"You know how I am with names..."
"I'm your husband...!"


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Flattery

"Hope you didn't pay for that!"
"I made it."
"Evidently..."

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Acquire boy

"Father, how long since your last confession?"
"Billy?? I..."
Bang!


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Trouble

"Last call!"
"Call me a cab?"
"Sure."
Nine, one, one...


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Techie support

"Did you reboot?"
"Reboot...?"
"Is it plugged in?"
"Uh..."
Click!


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Know Fury

"What's wrong?"
"Not now."
"When?"
"When you stop seeing him."


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Persona Non Grata

"You killed my father!"
"Prepare to die?"
"No. Thank you!"


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Captive 8

"Why won't you answer me? Is it the duct tape?"



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Be held

He lifted her veil.
She'd never looked more beautiful... alive.


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manhood

"You're not wearing that."
"But honey..."
"Fine. You're staying home."


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Nightmare

"Mom??"
The handle turned.
The door opened.
Nobody was there.


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FOB

"You cold man?"
He nodded, shuddering.
"Welcome to Afghanistan, SGT."



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Undercover

"Are you one of us?"
"Of course!"
"Then kill him!"


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Stable hand

"Milady," he said, helping her dismount.
Smiling, she whispered, "Milord."



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Vamp

"Kiss me."
"Now??"
"Yes!"
"There's still blood on your lips!"


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Time up

"Thirty minutes? That's not enough time!"
"Then she's already dead."


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Killswitch

"Any last words?"
"Yes warden," he sneered. "How's your daughter?"


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The fall

"There's no way I could have survived that. Am I...?"


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The thin blue line

"Shots fired! Officer down!"
"Say again...?"
"Stay with me Mendoza!"


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Hope

"I'm not hungry honey."
"Mommy, please! You have to eat!"


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Chances

"Last chance."
"I'll never tell you, you son of..."
Bang!


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Lost

"I sold it."
"Why???"
"I'm blind now. What's the point?"


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Land's End

The sails unfurled.

"To hell!" they cheered, heads held high.


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Love?

"I wish I loved you," she said, "but I..."
"Can't?"


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